To achieve emotional health, you must forgive, even if what someone did to you was criminal, heinous. Forgiving isn't excusing what they DID; it's letting go of a potentially deadly emotion which, if left unattended, will destroy you.
Over time I was able to begin working through my past, and today I’ve made peace with most of it, but the demons of yesteryear nearly sabotaged my entire existence.
I understand the monster behind the curtain; I’ve listened in fear to the raspy breath of the beast on the other side of the door. The thought of opening up old wounds is sickening, disgusting, I get it, but if you don’t, at some point the creature will claw through the walls you’ve erected, and destroy you.
The Lord hasn’t turned His back on you for being angry at Him. Being mad at God is natural, and most—if not all—of Heaven’s most successful warriors have experienced it. I walked in livid anger toward God for many years as my chronic pain grew steadily worse. I was furious at my lack of healing, and didn’t even want others to pray for me. But we must work through our anger, and begin to trust the only One who can instill the peace we so desperately seek.
So many of us trudge ahead, into tomorrow, blanketed by the dark clouds of yesterday, but I’d like to encourage you NOT to let your past define you. You are not that person, and it’s essential to your emotional health to look forward. God knows you’re not perfect, yet He still has a calling on your life. He has an adventure waiting for you. He wants to equip you as a warrior in the battle for the soul of mankind (which is raging as we speak).
It’s time you tell the shadow in the rearview mirror to take a hike.