Life has taught me at least one trick for repelling dark assaults, even though I have every right to be angry and depressed (or at least that's what I tell myself). Consider the following: I was "assaulted" by a sixth grade boy when I was in kindergarten (a story for another time), suffered depression as … Continue reading Hear the Demons Comin’ Down the Road
My four-year-old grandson's name, as he likes to remind me every now and again, is "Joshua Matthew Cockrum, Jr." But I just call him "Joshy." He loves fully and unconditionally. I may see a tired soul in the mirror, but he sees, "Poppy." When I visit him after a long day at work, the baggage … Continue reading The Shimmering Spirit of a Child
I'm alive today because of my mom. I started experiencing depression when I was a teenager. My dad was the president of a bank and worked long hours, so he didn't have as much time as he would like for his kids. Thus, my mom was my world for several years. Growing up, my mom … Continue reading Shadow or Shadow Killer?
You're perfect the way you are. Don't let anyone tell you different. I'm telling you this after years of hardcore self-loathing. I never measured up to my own ideals of what I felt I could've been. Not thin enough, not good-looking enough, not funny enough, not nice enough, not holy enough, not patient enough, not … Continue reading Death to Self-loathing
"God loves a rebel," Stan Welch, one of my former Pastors, once told me. "He loves the angry, because that's just a matter of misdirected passion. It's the lethargic He has trouble with because it's hard to light a fire under them." Even though he explained this to me over 30 years ago, I remember … Continue reading God Loves A Rebel
"God, I pray for Your protection today. As members of Satan's ISIS army have promised death and destruction this very day, post mighty, warrior angels at the doors of churches. Blanket those of us in peace and safety who seek to honor Your name by entering Your house on the day we have chosen to … Continue reading A Christmas Prayer to the Lord of Peace & War
I was in the Emergency Room of an ARMY hospital, basic training, Fort Jackson, South Carolina. The night before I had ingested nearly 60 pills—a combination of pain killers and Tylenol—and my stomach had just been pumped. The doctor stormed in, asking me what kind of game I was playing. “I’m sorry, sir, I have … Continue reading My Suicide, Part 2
One dismal night, many years ago and far from home, bested by loss of hope, loneliness and depression, I started taking pills. A lot of pills, and didn’t stop until every capsule and tablet in my locker was gone. "I'm in pain," I kept repeating to myself, over and over, like a mantra. "These are … Continue reading My Suicide, Part 1
I’ve suffered depression off and on for over 30 years, since I was a teenager. The last couple of decades my depression has been linked to chronic, physical pain, but it started years before physical suffering was a part of my daily life. I remember being around 16 or so (if you have read my … Continue reading Young People Have The Right To Suffer, Too
Listen, people aren’t going to remember your problems or your excuses for why you're always in a crabby mood; they’re going to remember your attitude, your spirit. Creating a legacy of love and laughter lies in choosing joy, over and over and over again, until it becomes habit. My Grandpa Snow passed away when I was a … Continue reading How Will They Remember You?