With life comes pain.
You can’t separate “pain” from “life,” as much as we’d like to sometimes. I’m 57 years old, and have lived in chronic pain since I was a teenager. As I’ve written many times, with physical pain comes emotional struggles such as anger, anxiety, discouragement and depression (which will, if left untouched, lead to despair).
If you’re feeling especially abandoned in your suffering today, please understand:
You are not alone in this fight!
Billions around the world are hurting in one way or another. Despite what you may think, everyone has struggles, even those who “make life look easy.”
A song I’ve been listening to a lot lately is “Hard Fought Hallelujah” by Brandon Lake. Check out these heart-wrenching (and heart-warming) lyrics:
“I’ll bring my hard-fought, heartfelt
Been-through-hell hallelujah
And I’ll bring my storm-tossed, torn-sail
Story-to-tell hallelujah
‘Cause God, You’ve been patient
God, You’ve been gracious
Faithful, whatever I’m feeling or facing
So I’ll bring my hard-fought, heartfelt, it-is-well hallelujah
I’ve wrestled with the darkness
But I’m tryin’ to reach for the light
Yeah, the struggle keeps me honest
And it breaks down the walls of my pride
‘Cause faith isn’t proven like gold
‘Til it’s been through the fire
My head, heart, and hands are feeling heavy
But that’s when I lift them just a little higher *”
I’ve been “wrestling with the darkness” more so than usual. Ya see, I messed up my back bad last week, although I have no clue how I did it. This is the 8th day of my suffering; I’m not sleeping because I can’t get comfortable, and even walking is difficult.
But that’s ok, I’m alive, I have an amazing life, an even MORE amazing family and I have God. So, as far as blessings go, I’m all full-up.
That being said, I was listening to the new version of “Hard Fought Hallelujah,” by Brandon Lake and Jelly Roll (tremendous rendition, by the way; the video is below), when it hit me:
All my “halleluha’s” are hard fought.
Every freaking one of them, man. But, as British Politician Peter Mandelson said, “I’m a fighter, not a quitter.” I think back on all the things that should’ve killed me but didn’t, and I feel tremendously blessed. I also ponder all the miracles I would’ve missed out on, had I not made it.
Miracles like…
Raising my beautiful, smart and talented daughter, Jess, and then later, watching her start her own family with her street-smart, tough and uber-patient husband, Josh.
Raising my wonderful, brilliant and gifted son, Trey, and then later, watching him start his own family with his strong, brave and exceptional wife, Maria.
Being able to spend the last nearly-40-years with the prettiest, smartest and toughest woman on the planet: Laura, my little princess.
Having my grandchildren around me constantly, making life just as exhausting as it is perplexingly astonishing, enlightening and uplifting.
I figure I can either let my pain beat me, or I can fight.
I can allow myself to be swallowed up by all the darkness, or I can close my eyes, trust in the Lord and let the sun shine on my face; into my spirit.
Thus, I choose happiness. I choose joy. I choose light. I choose salvation. I choose laughter. I choose love.
And you should, too. Keep in mind, you’re much stronger than you give yourself credit for, and you can make the choice to battle your demons, knowing you’re not alone in this war.
They’ll only win if you give up. And remember:
“God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear when earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge! (Psalm 46:1-3)”
“The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us; the God of Israel is our fortress” (Psalm 46:7).
“So be strong and courageous, all you who put your hope in the Lord! (Psalm 31:24)”
Yeah, every “hallelujah” is hard fought, but a hard-hitting battle just makes victory that much sweeter.
You got this. I believe in you.
* © 2024 Brandon Lake Music (ASCAP).
Songwriters: Christopher Joel Brown / Steven Furtick / Benjamin Hastings / Brandon Lake
Broken People 