My Five Keys to Success

First let me say, this is not about achieving “success” as many think of it. Success to me isn’t about being rich, living in a mansion, driving a $78,000 vehicle or having a room full of trophies. Here’s my idea of success: My Grandpa Stroud (pictured above, with my grandma) passed away in 1997, and while he didn’t have much, financially, it was standing-room-only at his funeral. To this day, our family talks about “Grandpa” or “Daddy” (depending on who’s talking) with great affection. Same with his wife, my Grandma Stroud, who passed away in 2013. Their house and bank account neither reflected “success” to a lot of people, but they took care of their family and followed God with a fierce love that could never be shaken, and they stayed true to both, right to the end.

And look at those faces! See how they loved to laugh? They taught our whole family to laugh, not only in good times, but in the dark times as well.

That’s success to me. So, with that in mind, here are the five elements of success as I, personally, believe them to be:

5) Perseverance

Dictionary.com says perseverance means “steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.”

Romans 2:7: “He will give eternal life to those who keep on doing good, seeking after the glory and honor and immortality that God offers.”

A movie example of perseverance would be “Rocky” (1976), who never quit, despite the fact that all the odds were stacked against him. And notice at the end of the movie (spoiler alert for the poor soul who’s never seen this classic), his idea of “success” is that he had stood toe-to-toe with the Champ, right to the end, without going down. He didn’t “win” the match, but he was successful in magnificently reaching his goals.

4) Pursuing your passions in life

“The one thing you have that nobody else has is you. Your voice, your mind, your story, your vision. So write and draw and build and play and dance and live as only you can.” — Neil Gaiman (English author of short fiction, novels, comic books, graphic novels, audio theatre, and screenplays.)

“It’s your place in the world; it’s your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live.” — Mae Jemison (Doctor, Engineer and NASA Astronaut)

My dad has modeled this trait wonderfully in his life. He’s now retired from the banking business, but when he was a young man, he set a goal for himself to be bank president by the time he was 35 years old, and made it.

A great movie example is “Invincible” (2006), about Vince Papale, a walk-on for the Philadelphia Eagles who never went to college, yet ended up playing three seasons as a pro football player. It seemed the whole world was against Vince, but he pursued his passion to play football, and made it, against all odds.

3) Grit

“Grit” means having determination, perseverance, tenacity, fortitude, courage. Oxford Dictionary defines grit as “courage and resolve; strength of character.”

1 Corinthians 15:58: “So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.”

Honestly, nearly my whole family stands as a wonderful example of grit. I mentioned my Grandpa Stroud earlier, who died at the too-young age of 70 in 1997. He said he knew he had cancer at least a couple years before he passed, but he never went to the doctor. “Why?” everyone wanted to know. His answer was simple, although some never made peace with it: “Because I refuse to be defined by that word: CANCER. I just want to live my life and love my family, as ME, as JAKE STROUD, not as a ‘cancer victim.’ I want to live my life on my terms and nobody else’s.” And he did, all the way until that terrible day he sauntered through death’s veil and into Glory.

My Uncle Kenny (above) had stage four cancer when he passed away at only 58 years old. I recall one family get-together when he was so weak he had to lie down on the concrete floor and take a nap, but he never quit. He clenched his fist and said to the Grim Reaper, “You may take me, but it won’t be without a fight.”

That’s grit, my friend.

2) Love

1 Corinthians 13:1-3: “If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.”

Were I forced to choose two words to describe my family, they would be grit and love. While most of us have been through various levels of hell (addiction, alcoholism, chronic pain, surgeries, suicide attempts, literal mental madness, depression, despair and on and on), you won’t hear complaining when we hang out. No, you know what you hear?

LAUGHTER.

That’s because grit has gotten us through the storms, but LOVE keeps our hearts tender. We refuse to let affliction turn our emotions to stone. As Dr. King said, “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

For me, my love for Jesus is most important, but second to that is my amazing wife, Laura (pictured above, at the KC Chiefs game this past Christmas, when the Raiders slaughtered us!). We’ve been together since October, 1985, and she is my heart. Even as a writer, words fail in attempting to express my feelings for her. She’s my whole world.

1) Jesus

John 14:6: “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. The only way to the Father is through Me.’”

“It is important to make your peace with Christ while the opportunity exists. Life is so fragile that you never know when it’s going to be over.” Chuck Norris, as told to New Man magazine (2000)

Many of my Christian family and friends are not exactly poster children for Jesus, in the eyes of some. We’re leathery, rough-and-tumble personalities, for sure, but MAN do we love Jesus.

We’ve been through hell, and some continue to walk through the fires of torment, but we hold on to Christ with a white-knuckled grip, and we’ll never let go. My son-in-law has tattoo “sleeves” on both arms, and my son and I are fond of our heavy metal t-shirts, jackets and caps. We may not “look” like someone’s view of a “believer in Jesus,” but thankfully, God isn’t as judgmental as those narrow-minded folks.

So that’s it. I do apologize for the length of this article, but this message has been burning in my spirit for days, and it took this length to flesh it all out. I hope you have a blessed day, and please know: my family and I love ya, and are prayin’ for ya!