I read a Facebook post yesterday which had a picture of a sad looking character, and said, “When you no longer want to be alive, but know that killing yourself will bring too much sadness on your family and friends, so you carry on, praying you’ll get run over a truck.”
Even sadder than the post itself was how many people made comments like, “I get this,” and “this is SO me.”
Not only is there an alarming increase in the suicide rate, but the sheer number of people admitting they struggle with depression and sadness is staggering. Like “The Nothing” from the movie “The NeverEnding Story,” people seem to be getting swallowed up by it.
To be brutally honest, I am just coming out of a very dark, sad time myself. My depression was so bad, the chronic pain in my back, hips and legs so severe, I told my wife, Laura, “It’s terrible when you have such an amazing life, such a wonderful family, yet are drowning in sadness to the point where you just don’t know if you want to be alive anymore.”
Laura knows I’m not suicidal. No, she knew exactly what I was saying:
“I don’t wanna live in this pain anymore, but I don’t wanna die.”
I spend time every day in prayer and meditation, reading scripture passages such as this one:
“Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” Isaiah 46:4
I stand on these; I claim them. I believe them, and read them over and over and over. Ya see, even in the darkest of times, I can’t let go of the hope that God will rescue me.
“You have rescued us from dark powers and brought us safely into the kingdom of Your Son, whom You love and in whom we are redeemed and forgiven of our sins [through His blood].” Colossians 1:13-14
There are thousands, millions, just like me, just like you, of this I have no doubt. You don’t wanna live anymore, but really don’t wanna die. Drowning in sadness, grief and depression. Suffocated by darkness.
It’s so easy for me to say “Jesus saves,” but do I really throw you a lifeline when I do that? Maybe, maybe not. I’m not here to spout cliches or “quick’n’easy catchphrases guaranteed to deliver.” Salvation and redemption can’t be found in a meme. There’s no magic words I can give you that’ll make your dark feelings instantly disappear.
Only Jesus can do that. Cry out to Him.
But even with this, life won’t SUDDENLY be all sunshine and roses. No, you’ll have to work at it if you want to keep the sadness and depression at bay.
Are you willing to do that? Do you love your friends and family enough to fight?
What I’m here to tell you is this:
Those feelings of drowning in your own dark thoughts? Yeah, I get it. I can relate to the sensation of asphyxiating in your own hopelessness. I understand.
As stated, I’m on the tail-end of a bad time, and am feeling some better. I’m trying to see the beauty around me, instead of wallowing in the swamp of discouragement. I realize there are many people who CARE, and are rooting for us to make it.
Ya see, I write so much about Jesus because I feel Him in my spirit, every day, wrapping His arms around me. I feel like I’m drowning at times, but His love helps me tread the disturbing waters of this life.
Just today, during my meditation time, a song came on which I wrote about a couple weeks ago: “There Was Jesus” by Zach Williams and Dolly Parton. Normally, I’m not one to cry, but today, tears began to crawl slowly down my timeworn cheeks. I could FEEL the Holy Spirit, ever so gently saying, “I’m always here. I love you. I’ll never give up on you.
Keep fighting, brother. Keep battling the despondency, sister. You’re making it, you really are! You may feel like you’re drowning, but if you dare to reach up, reach out for help, we’ll be there, waiting to pull you up and out.
Most of all, GOD will be there.
“Jesus gave His life for our sins, just as God our Father planned, in order to rescue us from this evil world in which we live.” Galatians 1:4
Never give up, never give in, never surrender!
Many blessings, my friend.