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Hardwired to Self-Destruct

“I don’t understand why I act the way I do. I don’t do the good I want to do, and I do the evil I hate.”

(Romans 7:15 ERV)

First, this is not an album review. In fact, I thought of the name for this blog, and only then remembered it was an album title by the mighty Metallica. This slipped my mind because I sorta lost interest in them after The Black Album.

It does seem many of us are hardwired for self-destruction, though, doesn’t it? How else would you explain people with curable cancer still smoking?

A drug addict is offered help but refuses, and is found cold and motionless in an abandoned building.

I recall an older gentleman named Robert who used to mow yards for beer money. He had been an alcoholic for many years, taking his riding mower down to the local convenience store to get a case of beer every day. Everyone told him his habit would kill him, and one day it finally did.

But this doesn’t just apply to cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. Since I hit 50, eating too much sugar and too many carbs has literally started making me sick. My favorite food, Chinese, is fine in moderation, but I still find myself eating WAY too much of it, getting sick and my body hurting due to not eating healthy.

I started eating all natural a few weeks ago, and quickly lost 25 pounds. I felt so much better, but due to us moving into a new house and all that entails, I derailed myself once more and am back to feeling like crap. Additionally, I know I have a bad back but have a terrible time watching others work. Thus, against my family’s pleading, I push myself and ininevitably end up in much worse shape.

Like the Apostle Paul said in Romans, seems I’m always doing what I don’t wanna do. I end up putting myself into harmful situations and then hating myself for it.

Maybe you can relate.

I know I should offer a 5-step plan for self-improvement, but have nothing. This blog is to let you know I’m right there with ya, fighting self-destruction, self-loathing.

I encourage you to take stock in your blessings, and try to use them as a springboard to feeling better. Meanwhile, I’ll do the same.

The thing that haunts me is this: God has a calling on my life, and is moving me into it, gradually, day by day. This is going to happen, regardless of the devil’s attempts to stop it. How I FEEL, mentally and physically, however, when I step into God’s calling is up to me. I can carry out my remaining days, bloated and fatigued, or I can try and live a little better, feel a little better, and live healthier.

So join me in taking stock of what we can change, and perhaps we’ll all be in a better place this time next year.

Will you join me in at least trying to improve our health? If not for our own sake, then for the sake of those who love and cherish us.


This entry was posted in Pain.
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