When I share my testimony with audiences, part of my story is the fact that, when I was in kindergarten, I was sexually abused by an older boy. As much as I’d love to keep this a secret, I am compelled by full disclosure, if only because it seems to be way more common than most think. Every time I share the story, at least one person comes up to me afterward and admits the same thing happened to them, but they never told anyone.

Studies show when a child’s mind is invaded with something as ugly as sexual abuse, it can cause a great amount of emotional damage. Many adults aren’t even ready to handle sex, so we can imagine how much MORE damaging this is on a child’s spirit.

So innocent, so precious…

“Ghosts crowd the young child’s fragile, eggshell mind.” (from “Peace Frog,” by The Doors, 1970)

My young mind being exposed to something as harmful as this type of abuse caused me to become addicted to pornography. By the time I was a preteen I was stealing X-rated magazines from the local grocery store, and within a couple years I had a large stack of them under my bed. I have an addictive personality, so, to be quite honest, I still fight with myself not to give in, ESPECIALLY in this day of “free porn on your computer and phone.”

They say (ya know, the infamous “they,” who say everything) a child is SO harmed by pornography and sexual abuse, in fact, the brain doesn’t know how to process it. One thing many drug addicts and adult film actors have in common (and many porn stars ARE drug addicts, from what I’ve learned) is they, too, were molested as children, in some form or fashion. Whether it be the perversion of pornography and sex addiction, or drugs and alcohol, they try to deal with this trauma the only way they know how.

What’s scary is that our children no longer have to hit up their pervert uncle for an adult movie on VHS, or steal a magazine from the grocery store. They can do an Internet search for “free porn” and get thousands and thousands of sites. This is one reason it’s VITAL we teach our kids right from wrong, and keep a close eye on what they are exposed to.

I am no psychologist or therapist, so I won’t go into the harms of pornography; there are hundreds of books and articles on that subject. No, I thought I’d take a different approach.

Below is a list of adult film actors, aka “porn stars,” who died at a young age, many due to their hazardous lifestyle or by their own hand. This list was compiled by Rev. Daniel R. Jennings, and only takes us from 1990 through 2009. A simple Google search for “porn stars who committed suicide” or “porn stars who overdosed,” however, will bring up dozens of articles.

The title of one article for LifeSite News, written by Jonathon Van Maren, says it all:

“Those porn stars you’re watching? Many of them are dead.”

Check out these articles for more on this tragic phenomenon:

“16 Adult Stars Who Ended Their Own Lives” (https://www.ranker.com/list/adult-stars-who-committed-suicide/celebrity-lists)

“Porn industry reeling after five deaths in only three months” (https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/porn-industry-reeling-after-five-deaths-in-only-three-months/news-story/e779587b387f0ad2b3ae71ec45f0c631)

“5 young female porn stars dead in 3 months: What is behind recent spate of deaths?” (https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/5-young-female-porn-stars-dead-in-3-months-what-is-behind-recent-spate-of-deaths)

“‘Deaths of despair’ are rising among adult film actresses” (https://www.marketwatch.com/story/deaths-of-despair-are-rising-among-adult-film-actresses-2018-01-24)

And on and on it goes. To add insult to injury, many people don’t even care when an adult film actor dies, no matter the age or cause. A 23-year-old porn actress overdoses, and we chalk it up to her lifestyle. A 28-year-old porn actor puts a gun in his mouth, and we don’t bat an eye. A 25-year-old hangs herself, and we figure somehow they asked for it, I guess.

But these are still PEOPLE, for crying out loud. They’re still God’s children, and believe it or not, He still loves them. God never gives up on one of His children.

I know this is a HEAVY subject, but I wanted to bring it to the attention of some who may not have been aware.

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.” Job 31:1

Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, if this is a problem for you. There are millions of people who fight the good fight every day, even if we’re “not supposed to talk about it.”

Blessings.