(newly revised by author, 09/02/21)

“Those porn stars you’re watching? Many of them are dead.”

But more about that in a minute…

When I share my testimony with audiences, part of my story is the fact that, when I was in kindergarten, I was sexually abused by an older boy. So what does this have to do with the death of a porn star? Well, gimme a minute and I’ll show ya.

As much as I’d love to keep my little secret, I am compelled by full disclosure, if only because it seems to be way more common than most think. Every time I share the story, at least one person comes up to me afterward and admits the same thing happened to them, but they never told anyone.

Studies show when a child’s mind is invaded with something as ugly as sexual abuse, it can cause a great amount of emotional damage. Many adults aren’t even ready to handle sex, so we can imagine how much MORE damaging this is on a child’s spirit.

So innocent, so precious…

“Ghosts crowd the young child’s fragile, eggshell mind.” (from “Peace Frog,” by The Doors, 1970)

My young mind being exposed to something as harmful as this type of abuse caused me to become addicted to pornography. By the time I was a preteen I was stealing X-rated magazines from the local grocery store, and within a couple years I had a large stack of them under my bed. I have an addictive personality, so, to be quite honest, I still fight with myself not to give in, ESPECIALLY in this day of “free porn on your computer and phone.”

They say (ya know, the infamous “they,” who say everything) a child is SO harmed by pornography and sexual abuse, in fact, the brain doesn’t know how to process it. One thing many drug addicts and adult film actors have in common (and many porn stars ARE drug addicts, from what I’ve learned) is they, too, were molested as children, in some form or fashion. Whether it be the perversion of pornography and sex addiction, or drugs and alcohol, they try to deal with this trauma the only way they know how.

What’s scary is that our children no longer have to hit up their pervert uncle for an adult movie on VHS, or steal a magazine from the grocery store. They can do an Internet search for “free porn” and get thousands and thousands of sites. This is one reason it’s VITAL we teach our kids right from wrong, and keep a close eye on what they are exposed to.

I am no psychologist or therapist, so I won’t go into the harms of pornography; there are hundreds of books and articles on that subject. No, I thought I’d take a different approach.

The title of one article for LifeSite News, written by Jonathon Van Maren, says it all:

“Those porn stars you’re watching? Many of them are dead.”

I know this is a HEAVY subject, but I wanted to bring it to the attention of some who may not have been aware.

“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.” Job 31:1

Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, if this is a problem for you. There are millions of people who fight the good fight every day, even if we’re “not supposed to talk about it.”

If you feel so inclined, check out these articles for more on this tragic phenomenon:

“16 Adult Stars Who Ended Their Own Lives” (https://www.ranker.com/list/adult-stars-who-committed-suicide/celebrity-lists)

“Porn industry reeling after five deaths in only three months” (https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/porn-industry-reeling-after-five-deaths-in-only-three-months/news-story/e779587b387f0ad2b3ae71ec45f0c631)

“5 young female porn stars dead in 3 months: What is behind recent spate of deaths?” (https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/5-young-female-porn-stars-dead-in-3-months-what-is-behind-recent-spate-of-deaths)

“‘Deaths of despair’ are rising among adult film actresses” (https://www.marketwatch.com/story/deaths-of-despair-are-rising-among-adult-film-actresses-2018-01-24)

Here is a list of deaths leading up to 2009, compiled by Rev. Daniel R. Jennings for his article, “The Average Life Expectancy of a Porn Star” (http://danielrjennings.org/TheAverageLifeExpectancyOfAPornStar.html). While I don’t agree with Rev. Jennings’ assessment that “the average life span of a porn star is 37 years,” this information is simultaneously tragic and fascinating. (For the record, the main reason I don’t agree with his “average life span” is because he arrived at those numbers VERY unscientifically, and appears to only have figured the average age of those on his list. The scientific problem with this, as should be obvious to most, is that these figures do not include ALL actors in the pornography industry; only those he included in his article. This would be like me doing a search for people in my great-grandpa’s high school class, in an attempt to figure an “average life span,” only locating half of them, and yet using only THAT information to figure their average age of death.)