When I share my testimony with audiences, part of my story is the fact that, when I was in kindergarten, I was sexually abused by an older boy. As much as I’d love to keep this a secret, I am compelled by full disclosure, if only because it seems to be way more common than most think. Every time I share the story, at least one person comes up to me afterward and admits the same thing happened to them, but they never told anyone.
Studies show when a child’s mind is invaded with something as ugly as sexual abuse, it can cause a great amount of emotional damage. Many adults aren’t even ready to handle sex, so we can imagine how much MORE damaging this is on a child’s spirit.
So innocent, so precious…
“Ghosts crowd the young child’s fragile, eggshell mind.” (from “Peace Frog,” by The Doors, 1970)
My young mind being exposed to something as harmful as this type of abuse caused me to become addicted to pornography. By the time I was a preteen I was stealing X-rated magazines from the local grocery store, and within a couple years I had a large stack of them under my bed. I have an addictive personality, so, to be quite honest, I still fight with myself not to give in, ESPECIALLY in this day of “free porn on your computer and phone.”
They say (ya know, the infamous “they,” who say everything) a child is SO harmed by pornography and sexual abuse, in fact, the brain doesn’t know how to process it. One thing many drug addicts and adult film actors have in common (and many porn stars ARE drug addicts, from what I’ve learned) is they, too, were molested as children, in some form or fashion. Whether it be the perversion of pornography and sex addiction, or drugs and alcohol, they try to deal with this trauma the only way they know how.
What’s scary is that our children no longer have to hit up their pervert uncle for an adult movie on VHS, or steal a magazine from the grocery store. They can do an Internet search for “free porn” and get thousands and thousands of sites. This is one reason it’s VITAL we teach our kids right from wrong, and keep a close eye on what they are exposed to.
I am no psychologist or therapist, so I won’t go into the harms of pornography; there are hundreds of books and articles on that subject. No, I thought I’d take a different approach.
Below is a list of adult film actors, aka “porn stars,” who died at a young age, many due to their hazardous lifestyle or by their own hand. This list was compiled by Rev. Daniel R. Jennings, and only takes us from 1990 through 2009. A simple Google search for “porn stars who committed suicide” or “porn stars who overdosed,” however, will bring up dozens of articles.
The title of one article for LifeSite News, written by Jonathon Van Maren, says it all:
“Those porn stars you’re watching? Many of them are dead.”

Stage Name |
Real Name |
Cause of Death |
Year of Death |
Age |
Megan Leigh | Michelle Maira Schei | Suicide by self-inflicted gun shot wound | 1990 | 26 |
Tony Bravo | Michael Pietri | AIDS | 1990 | 31 |
Leo Ford | Leo John Hilgeford | Motorcycle accident | 1991 | 34 |
Keith Anthoni | Thom Plaski | AIDS | 1991 | 39 |
Lee Ryder | Darras Robert Pyron | AIDS | 1991 | 31 |
Artie Mitchell | Artie Mitchell | Murdered by brother | 1991 | 45 |
Nancee Kellee | Kelly Jean Van Dyke | Suicide by hanging | 1991 | 33 |
Heaven St. John | Dorothy Lee Perrins | Cancer | 1992 | 48 |
Tim Kramer | Douglas Murrell Cooper | AIDS | 1992 | 34 |
Al Parker | Andrew R. Okun | AIDS | 1992 | 40 |
Chanel Price | Teri Price | Drug overdose | 1992 | 35 |
Lisa de Leeuw | Lisa Trego | AIDS complications | 1993 | 45 |
Rod Phillips | Gregory Leslie Patton | AIDS complications | 1993 | 32 |
Scott Bond | N/A1 | AIDS | 1993 | 30 |
Clint Lockner | Charles Romanski | AIDS | 1993 | 50 |
Stasha | Rolando Angelo | Leukemia | 1993 | 24 |
Scott Taylor | Scott Taylor Hampton | AIDS | 1994 | 40 |
Jeremy Scott | Troy Andrew Meyers | AIDS | 1994 | 32 |
Glenn Steers | Rick Sommers | AIDS | 1994 | 36 |
Joey Stefano | Nicholas Anthony Iacona | Drug overdose, HIV positive | 1994 | 26 |
Savannah | Shannon Michelle Wilsey | Suicide by self-inflicted gunshot wound | 1994 | 23 |
Jack Baker | John Anthony Bailey | Cancer | 1994 | 47 |
Joe Simmons | Thomas Williams | AIDS | 1995 | 30 |
Jon King | N/A | AIDS | 1995 | 32 |
Pierce Daniels | Russell Wallace | AIDS | 1995 | 36 |
Lon Flexx | David Lee Anderson | AIDS | 1995 | 30 |
Ben Barker | Rick Steven Sanford | AIDS | 1995 | 43 |
Jon King | John Nelson Gaines | AIDS complications | 1995 | 32 |
Alex Jordan | Karen Elizabeth Mereness | Suicide by hanging | 1995 | 27 |
Cal Jammer | Randy Layne Potes | Suicide by self-inflicted gun shot wound | 1995 | 34 |
Richard Locke | Richard Holt Locke | AIDS | 1996 | 55 |
Christian Fox | Christopher John McLaughlin | Suicide by drug overdose | 1996 | 22 |
Steve Fox | Rommel Eugene Hunt | Suicide by self-inflicted gunshot wound | 1997 | 31 |
Matt Gunther | Steven Matthew Laing | Heart attack | 1997 | 33 |
Lee Baldwin | John Francis Mallette | Heart attack | 1998 | 36 |
J. D. Ram | David Perry | Heroin overdose | 1998 | 28 |
Wendy O’Williams | Wendy Orlean Williams | Suicide by self-inflicted gun shot wound | 1998 | 48 |
Trinity Loren | Joyce Evelyn McPherson | Drug overdose | 1998 | 34 |
Sparky O’Toole | Donald Keith Paton |
AIDS | 1999 | 31 |
David Morris | N/A | Drugs | 1999 | 47 |
Lolo Ferrari | Eve Valois | Prescription drugs | 2000 | 37 |
Jon Vincent | Jeffrey James Vickers | Heroin overdose | 2000 | 37 |
Kyle Mckenna | Russell Charles McCoy | Suicide by drug overdose | 2000 | 31 |
Leslie Glass | Leslie Fisher | Cancer | 2000 | 36 |
Teri Diver | Teri Diver | Prescription drugs | 2001 | 29 |
Brett Ford | N/A | AIDS | 2001 | 31 |
Lynx Dyan | N/A | Cancer | 2001 | 25 |
Amber Sexxxum | N/A | Undisclosed | 2002 | 31 |
Elisa Bridges | Elisa Rebeca Bridges | Heroin and Meth overdose | 2002 | 28 |
Mike Henson | Kenneth Seymour | HIV+ and overdosed on Heroin | 2002 | 38 |
Sophie Roche | N/A | Suicide | 2002 | 23 |
Naughtia Childs | Megan Serbian | Jumped off a balcony while high on drugs | 2002 | 29 |
Linda Lovelace | Linda Boreman | Car accident | 2002 | 53 |
Devon Renfro | N/A | Brain aneurysm | 2002 | 21 |
Jay Anthony | Jay Anthony | Suicide | 2003 | 27 |
Karen Dior | Geoffrey Gann | Cirrhosis of the liver and AIDS | 2004 | 37 |
Rebecca Steele | Jeanette Dee Rogers | Drug overdose while suffering from AIDS | 2004 | 42 |
Johnny Rahm | Barry Rogers | Suicide by hanging | 2004 | 39 |
Lea De Mae | Andrea Absolonova | Brain cancer | 2004 | 27 |
Taylor Summers | Natel King | Murdered after shooting an adult scene | 2004 | 23 |
Chloe Jones | Melinda Dee Jones | Liver failure due to alcohol and drug abuse | 2005 | 29 |
Eva Lux | Leticia Lynn Blake | Heroin overdose | 2005 | 32 |
Juliette Jett | N/A | Heroin overdose | 2005 | 28 |
Camilla De Castro | Alessandro Caetano Kothenborger | Jumped, fell or pushed from her 8th floor apartment | 2005 | 26 |
Karen Lancaume | Karine Bach | Suicide by drug overdose | 2005 | 32 |
Brittney Madison | Stacey Pfeiffer | Car accident | 2005 | 21 |
Tim Barnett | Bradford Thomas Wagner | Suicide by hanging while in jail on rape charges | 2005 | 37 |
Jasmine Grey | Michelle Grayshaw | Car accident | 2005 | 21 |
Lance Heywood | Rex Hickok | Suicide by jumping off a building | 2005 | 40 |
Julie Robbins | Brandy Koonts | From over 95% of her body being burned during a car accident | 2005 | 26 |
Patrice Cabanel | N/A | Heart failure | 2005 | 48 |
Devon Barry | N/A | Undisclosed illness | 2005 | 28 |
Ursula Cavalcanti | Patrizia Grazzini | Cancer | 2005 | 39 |
Michael Lennox | N/A | Undisclosed | 2005 | 37 |
Yumika Hayashi | N/A | Became drunk and choked to death on her vomit while asleep | 2005 | 35 |
Angela Devi | Angela Shunali Dhingra | Suicide by asphyxiation | 2006 | 30 |
Anna Malle | Anna Hotop | Car accident | 2006 | 38 |
Kirby Scott | Joseph Myska | Drug overdose | 2006 | 44 |
Jon Dough | Chester Anuszak | Suicide by hanging | 2006 | 43 |
Andy Dill | Timothy Leon Chanaud | Meningitis | 2006 | 43 |
Clarissa Doll | Clarissa Dana Biere | Suicide | 2006 | 26 |
Kristian Brooks | Jason Kanarr | AIDS | 2006 | 35 |
Johnny Rey | N/A | AIDS and testicular cancer | 2006 | 42 |
Austin Black | N/A | Liver cancer | 2006 | 38 |
Candice Rialson | N/A | Liver failure | 2006 | 54 |
Rocky | N/A | Cancer and AIDS | 2006 | 26 |
Sheridan | N/A | Car accident | 2006 | 20 |
Lori Michaels | N/A | Heart defect | 2007 | 38 |
Joe Romero | N/A | Complications from HIV | 2007 | 40 |
Haley Paige | Maryam Irene Haley | Possible murder, small amount of drugs found upon autopsy | 2007 | 25 |
Kent North | Ben Grey | Drug overdose, possibly a suicide | 2007 | 35 |
Lynden Thomas | N/A | Asthma attack | 2007 | 25 |
Danny Dukes | Daniel Salas, Jr. | Heroin overdose | 2007 | 33 |
Brett Mycles | Robert Christopher Sager | Heart attack induced by use of steroids | 2007 | 29 |
Cody Foster | Shawn L. Sumner | AIDS complications and liver cancer | 2007 | 36 |
Chico Wang | Inkyo Volt Hwang | Suicide by drug overdose | 2007 | 38 |
Zoey Zane | Emily Irene Sander | Murdered | 2007 | 18 |
Vanessa Freeman | N/A | Murdered by prostitution client | 2007 | 30 |
Haus Weston | Haus Weston | Heart attack | 2007 | 29 |
Danny Roddick | Matthew Freitas | Apparent drug overdose | 2007 | 31 |
Anna Alexandre | N/A | Car accident | 2007 | 27 |
Tiffani DiGivanni | N/A | Suicide | 2007 | 21 |
Anastasia Blue | Elena Behm | Undisclosed | 2008 | 28 |
Lolly Pop | Mary Besesti Federica | Heart attack | 2008 | 37 |
Cole Ryder | N/A | Cause of death unknown, originally reported as a staph infection | 2008 | 36 |
Missy | Maria Christina | Overdose of prescription drugs | 2008 | 41 |
Check out these articles for more on this tragic phenomenon:
“16 Adult Stars Who Ended Their Own Lives” (https://www.ranker.com/list/adult-stars-who-committed-suicide/celebrity-lists)
“Porn industry reeling after five deaths in only three months” (https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/porn-industry-reeling-after-five-deaths-in-only-three-months/news-story/e779587b387f0ad2b3ae71ec45f0c631)
“5 young female porn stars dead in 3 months: What is behind recent spate of deaths?” (https://www.foxnews.com/entertainment/5-young-female-porn-stars-dead-in-3-months-what-is-behind-recent-spate-of-deaths)
“‘Deaths of despair’ are rising among adult film actresses” (https://www.marketwatch.com/story/deaths-of-despair-are-rising-among-adult-film-actresses-2018-01-24)
And on and on it goes. To add insult to injury, many people don’t even care when an adult film actor dies, no matter the age or cause. A 23-year-old porn actress overdoses, and we chalk it up to her lifestyle. A 28-year-old porn actor puts a gun in his mouth, and we don’t bat an eye. A 25-year-old hangs herself, and we figure somehow they asked for it, I guess.
But these are still PEOPLE, for crying out loud. They’re still God’s children, and believe it or not, He still loves them. God never gives up on one of His children.
I know this is a HEAVY subject, but I wanted to bring it to the attention of some who may not have been aware.
“I made a covenant with my eyes not to look with lust at a young woman.” Job 31:1
Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, if this is a problem for you. There are millions of people who fight the good fight every day, even if we’re “not supposed to talk about it.”
Blessings.
I think you’re very brave to tackle this issue. Thank you!
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Thanks, Carol. It’s one of those secrets nobody is supposed to talk about.
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It’s been said, “our secrets keep us sick”. I think there is much truth to that. Shame is toxic and keeps us from growing.
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Well said. As long as people are choosing self-annihilation over self-incrimination, I will continue to speak out.
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And I will be here applauding you and shouting out a loud Amen!
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Bless you for your encouraging spirit.
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And may you continue to be blessed as well. Have a great week.
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