When I was a teenager attending the tiny, Pentecostal church in Waverly, Missouri, we used to sing a song which said:
“They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength / They shall mount up with wings as eagles / They shall run and not be weary / They shall walk and not faint
Teach me, Lord / Teach me, Lord, to wait”
But, as Inigo Montoya, from “The Princess Bride,” says, “I hate waiting.”
When I was a young man, I had a series of visions. In one of them, I was walking into a room, stacked to the ceiling with boxes, all containing copies of a book I’d written. I pulled one of the boxes down from the top of the stack; it was heavy, and landed with a “thud.” I opened it, looked inside at the books, smiled, and said, “Ship ‘em!”
Another—and this one sounds a little kooky, so bear with me—was of me standing in a room with hundreds of other people. They were all wearing jetpacks (yes, jetpacks…stay with me), and were flying around a huge room with a high-vaulted ceiling. I said, “Lord, I wish I had a jetpack.” I then closed my eyes and said, “God, I trust you.” Suddenly I began to fly around with the rest of them, my eyes closed the entire time. Every now and then I would open my eyes, see I was very high in the air, and, like the Apostle Peter when he began to sink while walking on the water, cry out, “Lord, help me!” I’d close my eyes again and keep flying.
After the last one was over I realized I was jealous of other artists who had “made it,” yet there I was, pursuing one dream after another, all ending in miserable failure. This vision told me when I did “make it,” it would be the Lord’s doing, not mine. Everyone else was trusting in their own equipment, in their own abilities, but I was relying fully on God, and He’s the one who was helping me soar.
My wife, Laura, also had a vision. I had paid to trademark a title I wanted to use for a comic book I was planning on creating—Demonkill—and was struggling to get it started. I was toying with whether to use the actual name of “Jesus,” or just go with the generic reference to “God.” If I just went with “God,” I figured I could sell more comic books.
However, Laura woke up excitedly one morning, and told me the following:
“I had a dream, babe. No, a vision, I think. I was standing in the middle of a field, when Jesus came and took me by the hand and flew me to Heaven. I saw those beautiful, pearl gates the Bible talks about, but we didn’t land on the ground and walk through them…
“We flew right over them! It was so exciting. Then we landed on the ground. Jesus landed LOUDLY, and I remember thinking the BOOMING SOUND of His feet landing on the ground was like His stamp of approval on Demonkill. Then He said, ‘Tell Rob not to take My name out of the book, and I’ll take care of the rest.’”
That was a stamp of approval, but also set the record straight on my question: I was to refer to Jesus by name.
Finally, I had a quick vision of me passing out Demonkill t-shirts in Africa.
Yeah, nuts, I know, but I’m being honest with you. Brutally open and honest.
These visions were in the early 90s, when I was in my 20s. I just turned 50 this year, and, believe it or not, am just now understanding my calling. I’ve started writing a book of testimonies from people who have overcome mighty obstacles, and am already 60 pages in. I tried to start books several times before, but would run out of ideas after 30 or 40 pages.
Another failed pursuit was in the mid-90s when I and a buddy of mine recorded a Christian heavy metal demo tape. I wrote all lyrics, sang lead and background vocals and played bass guitar. After recording six songs, though, the project fell through.
A few years later, I and some friends of mine started the Demonkill comic book. It felt right, and I just knew we were on our way! We even garnered the interest of the biggest Christian “celebrity” of the time; Stephen Baldwin. He told us he loved our comic, and was going to help us.
“Finally!” I thought. “I’ve made it!!”
But after a few months he lost interest and stopped returning my calls. I finally had to nearly beat the truth out of his assistant:
“Mr. Baldwin has decided to pursue other interests. I’m very sorry.”
My creative team eventually split up, and just like that I was back to square one again.
Thus, my new venture has me beyond excited. Writing this book was actually Laura’s idea, and I fought it for a while.
“Babe,” I said, “I’m better at writing fiction. I don’t write non-fiction.”
But I finally saw this as what I was born to do. All those years of struggling and failing had made me stronger, wiser and more patient.
All the books I’d read on how to write great fiction, and all those years of writing short fiction stories, both taught me to write a good story. I’m able to take someone’s testimony and write it in a compelling way.
I am not only looking forward to finishing and releasing the book, but to speaking to the masses about the overcoming power of Jesus Christ.
People need to know Jesus still heals. He still preforms miracles. But most of all, no matter what they’ve done, people need to know Jesus still loves them.
I’ve waited nearly 30 years, but I’ve finally found God’s calling on my life.
So if you received a vision many years ago, and you’re feeling like God forgot about you, at least you’re in good company…
Joseph waited 14 years in prison for a crime he didn’t commit.
Abraham waited 25 years for a promised son.
Jesus waited 30 years for His ministry to begin.
Moses waited 40 years in the desert, leading a grumbling bunch of whiners to the promised land.
Noah waited 120 years for the rains God promised.
So keep going, and never stop! Trust God, and He will fulfill His promise in His time. Keep living, keep working, keep praying and keep sweating. Someday it’ll come to pass.
“Don’t imagine, dear friends, that God’s timetable is the same as ours; as the psalm says, for with the Lord, one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years is like one day (2 Peter 3:8).”
“But these things I plan won’t happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day (Habakkuk 2:3)!”
2 comments on “I Hate Waiting”
And Rev. Aaron was I junky for 35 years before God set his feet on the narrow path.
Amen, bro. It’s a long haul sometimes but well worth the wait.