I’m sorry if you’ve read this in my blog once or twice before (or maybe half a dozen times), but I’ve had nearly 10,000 visitors to my blog in the last year (in addition to my subscribers), so I feel I must repeat it. One particularly dark night many years ago, alone and wallowing in despair in Fort Jackson, South Carolina, I decided I couldn’t take the pain of life anymore, and swallowed over 60 pills, mainly pain killers and ibuprofen. However, God, in His infinite love, decided to spare me, and since that day I’ve dedicated myself to sharing His light with the world. You can read the full story in my two-part blog, “My Suicide” Parts One and Two.
I’ve suffered chronic pain and depression for literally 40 years, so life has not been easy, but it has been amazing. That being said, I know there are many who will make a life-or-death decision today, and it is those to whom I speak today. Before I get to the good news of God’s love, I’d like to let you know these thoughts are not as foreign as you might think. Here are some examples of those who, unfortunately, chose death and darkness over light and life:
Miss USA 2019, television personality and attorney Cheslie Kryst committed suicide on Sunday, Jan. 30, 2022 by jumping from the 29th floor of her Manhattan apartment building. She was 30 years old. The last text she sent to her mom read, in part, “I’m sorry, but by the time you get this I won’t be alive anymore. And it makes me sad to write this because I know it will hurt you the most. I cannot bear the crushing weight of persistent sadness, hopelessness and loneliness any longer. I’ve never told you these feelings because I’ve never wanted you to worry and because I hoped they would eventually change, but I know they never will. They follow me through every accomplishment, success, family gathering, friendly dinner and I cry almost every day now like I’m in mourning. I’ve wished for death for years.”
Zoraya ter Beek, a 29-year-old Netherlands woman from a village close to the German border, died by physician-assisted suicide on May 22, 2024. She loved her boyfriend and her two cats, but chose to be euthanized because she was tired of battling depression, autism and borderline personality disorder.
On September 15, 2023, 43-year-old actor Billy Miller, known for his work on “General Hospital” and “Young and the Restless,” died in his bathtub by a self-inflected gunshot wound to the head. He had a history of bi-polar disorder and depression. His autopsy revealed that he had ethanol, cocaine, diphenhydramine, and amphetamine in his system.
So why am I sharing such depressing news? For one reason:
I want you to begin adapting the skill of living, no matter what comes your way.
When we focus on our problems and shortcomings, it’s so easy to become depressed. Seems the light and love of this world is so easily hidden by darkness and hatred, which is why we have to fight for survival.
Are you a fighter? If not, you should be, because you’re going to need that skill. Thus, you need to decide one thing:
“I am a survivor, and will keep seeking light and love, no matter what comes my way. Failure and suicide are not an option for me.”
Choose that self-directive right now; just make up your mind you will choose LIFE.
“Why?” you may ask. Because you’re astonishing, breathtaking and astounding. Is that enough adjectives for you? Because if not, I can give you more; the thesaurus is a writer’s best friend. Anyway, God made you exactly as you are. You may feel you don’t measure up to others, but there’s only one YOU, and nobody else can do what you do. Nobody else can be the light of someone else’s world quite like you.
Yes, you’re that amazing.
So with this in mind, I’d like to give you some ammunition for this fight: 10 Bible verses to help you fight despair and suicidal ideations.
“But I am trusting You, O Lord, saying, ‘You are my God!’ My future is in Your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly. Let Your favor shine on Your servant. In Your unfailing love, rescue me” (Psalm 31:14-16 NLT). I include struggles such as depression, anxiety and despair in the part about “those who hunt me down.”
“For I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power” (Philippians 4:13 TLB). Note this doesn’t say “I can do everything,” but rather, “I can do everything WITH THE HELP OF CHRIST.”
“Go away from me, you people who do wicked things! Now the Lord has heard me when I weep. I asked the Lord to be kind and to help me. Now He has answered me!” (Psalm 6:8-9 EASY English Bible).
Psalm 13: “O Lord, how long will You forget me? Forever? How long will You look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or I will die. Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying, ‘We have defeated him!’ Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall. But I trust in Your unfailing love. I will rejoice because You have rescued me. I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me” (NLT). Who among us hasn’t felt like God is “out to get us”? I include this chapter because I want you to realize those thoughts are perfectly normal, but also to take note of how the Psalmist finishes this writing: by claiming the fact that God WILL help us, and that He is good to us.
“Lord, hear me and have mercy on me. Lord, help me. You changed my sorrow into dancing. You took away my clothes of sadness, and clothed me in happiness. I will sing to You and not be silent. Lord, my God, I will praise You forever” (Psalm 30:10-12 NCV).
“How precious it is, Lord, to realize that You are thinking about me constantly! I can’t even count how many times a day Your thoughts turn toward me. And when I waken in the morning, You are still thinking of me!” (Psalm 139:17-18).
I love this verse because it speaks of the encouragement of a friend! “But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us by the arrival of Titus” (2 Corinthians 7:6 NLT). We can’t be afraid to step out of our tiny world and hang out with a friend. Sometimes that’s all we need.
“Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall” (Psalm 55:22 NLT).
“Let Him have all your worries and cares, for He is always thinking about you and watching everything that concerns you. Be careful—watch out for attacks from Satan, your great enemy. He prowls around like a hungry, roaring lion, looking for some victim to tear apart. Stand firm when he attacks. Trust the Lord; and remember that other Christians all around the world are going through these sufferings too. After you have suffered a little while, our God, who is full of kindness through Christ, will give you His eternal glory. He personally will come and pick you up, and set you firmly in place, and make you stronger than ever” (1 Peter 5:7-10 TLB)
And my personal favorite: “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; He delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:17-18 NIV).
The enemy of your soul—that is, the devil—is doing everything within his power to make you feel isolated, downtrodden and alone, but remember, there are millions of people just like you who feel the same way. Satan is a liar and a thief, so keep in mind these precious words of Jesus: “A thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come so they may have life. I want them to have it in the fullest possible way” (John 10:10 NIRV).
Keep your chin up, better days are comin’! Many blessings. I love ya, and am prayin’ for ya every day.
Broken People 