I’m tired. I’m fighting depression. I’m slowly healing from a bad muscle strain in my back which hasn’t allowed me to sleep for a week, and forces me to walk with a cane. I’m just plain exhausted.
I have the sneaky suspicion some of you reading this are, as well.
Life just wears you out sometimes, doesn’t it? Thus, with the upcoming holiday season (Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas, and YES I said Halloween!), I’m gonna try a different approach.
I’m gonna try and express my gratitude to God for that which I am thankful.
“I’m thankful I’m able to walk, Lord; to come and go where I please. Some of my friends and family are good to get outta bed sometimes, and when they do, they have to walk with canes, PLURAL. Yes, two canes.
“While I have a great amount of pain, I’m thankful to be alive, God. I’m thankful a dear friend of mine got her first haircut in a couple of years today. It wasn’t that long ago we weren’t sure she was going to live through her cancer. It wasn’t that long ago she told us, ‘I don’t want people to tell me my wig looks GREAT, I just want them to treat me like a normal person!’
“Thanks, Lord, for the blessing she is to all around her, and for giving her more time on Earth than some have had.
“While I make plans to go see my daughter and grandkids for supper, some are looking forward to a 9:00 pm Skype with their family, where they laugh at their grandchildren’s silliness, trying to hide their tears, so the little ones won’t know how desperately they’re missed.
“Some have been told their daughters never want to see them again, and others have to visit them in the graveyard. Thanks, Lord, for blessing my wife and I with an absolutely mind-blowingly awesome daughter who has defied all expectations.
“Earlier today I had a conversation with my college-age son regarding a short story he’s writing for class, in which I encouraged him to ‘just write it, even if it sucks, and then start editing.’ Just another conversation with an amazing, 20-year-old, drum-playing, overly-hugging young man. I have people very close to me who will cry themselves to sleep in loneliness over the loss of their sons, but I just gave mine a hug, even as I type this, as he heads off to work.
“Help me not to take even ONE DAY for granted, precious Lord. Let me be overly appreciative of those whom you have given to me. Thanks for my son-in-law, God, who beat the odds, fought his way back from addiction and divorce, to turn things around, get a job he’s GREAT at, and win his family back. Thanks for that miracle.
“Let me be the encourager, today, in spite of how I feel! Help me to lift others up the way they have lifted me!
“As I grab my cane and head home from work, I’d like to thank You for giving me a job which allows me to minister to others. What a blessing.
“Thanks for everything, God. I’m choosing NOT to concentrate on my depression, pain, anxiety or worries, but instead, ask you to give me a thankful heart.
“Always.
“Amen.”
Wow, I gotta tell ya, Lord, I do feel better. Maybe being “thankful” really is one of the keys to happiness. I’ve been told this all my life, but You know me; I’m a little slow and have to learn for myself. But I DO eventually get there.
Help me to always be thankful for what I have and for what I am, as opposed to resentful about what I have NOT, or what I AM not.
Broken People 
What a blessing this was to me this m or ing!! I struggled all night. The rain multiplies my pain. Difficult to even get to bathroom or bed without grimacing. I’m alone , but yet, I’m NOT alone! I am SO blessed, and at times, I DO forget to be thankful for His Blessings ! This is not the way I had in mind to enter my seventies, However, I am certain God has the perfect plan for my remaining days! I’m thankful I still have my children, that they love the Lord. I’m thankful I’m not in a nursing home (yet)_ that I’m able to live in a tiny, but darling little place my son transformed his two car garage into my own doll house! I know if the time ever comes that I need to live in a nursing home, I can face whatever plans He has for me!! Your blog has touched me deeply this dark, rainynmorning, and even tho it is raining on the outside, there’s SONshine inside!!!
God Bless You!!!
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May God richly bless you today, Doris. To borrow your word, I pray SONshine in your spirit today. Yeah, this blog was crazy for me because I thought, “Ya know, I’m just gonna be BRUTALLY honest about how I’m feeling. I don’t know where it’s gonna take me, but we’ll find out.” I figured it was gonna be another one of my “life stinks sometimes but ya gotta keep going!” blogs. The first word in the title is, “Watch” because I literally WATCHED God change my attitude as I was writing! It morphed from depression to thankfullness, simply by praying. It was really a miracle, to be honest; one I have to keep in mind, even in my darkest days.
I felt like I should share a link to the audio recording of my most recent speaking engagement with you. The volume is a bit low, so you’ll have to turn it up louder and/or use headphones. Every time I speak to a group, the Lord moves, using all the garbage and shadows of my past to help shine the light of Christ into people. Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wsO_9ULVdo&fbclid=IwAR2hN_SMtGwF1V-2HHnVZ3OmrYTf9WcOQ1FAN_fVdXXBNbNDk2Q–o7mOl8
Blessings.
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Thank you again for this Rob. So beautifully and accurately stated. You know I firmly believe in this. If you can’t find or express your gratitude for the good in your life, then whats left? The bad and the hard and the depressing. I think I’ll be reading more of you’re blogs❤
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Thanks, my friend. I’m just trying to be real in my journey. The Holy Spirit won’t allow me to filter out the bad parts for some reason. People must learn they’re not alone in their suffering.
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