I’ve mentioned my dad in previous blogs. I’ve written about how we didn’t get along when I was growing up, and about how we reconciled when I had a seizure and my heart stopped after my first back surgery. I’ve also detailed my path of forgiveness, and how we were able to move on and start over.
But some don’t have the luxury of “moving on.”
There are those whose very existence is the result of a relationship which didn’t last, leaving the person feeling fatherless at times. Man, that must hurt; I couldn’t imagine the pain and emptiness this must’ve wrought as a child. Whether you merely felt fatherless, or literally were without a father, please consider the fact that God the Father is here for you:
“To the fatherless he is a father. To the widow he is a champion friend. To the lonely he gives a family. (from Psalm 68)”
Others literally don’t know who their father is. I know one person whose mother took that secret to the grave with her, leaving a gaping hole.
Some dads passed away, having never told their children they were proud of them, or maybe even that they loved them. This leaves the sufferer wondering for the rest of their lives, “Were they proud of me? Did they love me? Would they be proud of the person I am now? Would they have ever loved me?” Such terrible, gnawing questions!
And then there are the fathers who have separated themselves from their children—knowingly or unknowingly—by their actions, attitude and/or life choices. Let’s face it, some dads simply don’t care about their kids. I can’t fathom having this mindset, but I know it exists. I’ve seen it, and you probably have as well.
I have to admire my dad. He never said, “Emotionally, I didn’t do so well by Rob when he was a kid, so there’s no hope in trying to get close to him now that he’s an adult.” No way! He sought me out, and was there waiting for me when I woke up after my 12-hour “nap” following that heart-stopping seizure. His was the first face I saw, and his first words were, “I know I’ve never told you, but I love you, and I’m proud of you.”
He’s my dad, and I love him.
But for those of you who will never have the option of forgiveness and restoration, or of filling the cavernous hole where your father’s love should be, I’d like to offer the following:
“Look at the birds! They don’t worry about what to eat—they don’t need to sow or reap or store up food—for your heavenly Father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are. (Matthew 6:26)”
You have a Heavenly Father who loves you. I know it’s tough, but it’s my opinion that seeking the Lord will help to fill the gap you have in your spirit. As the song says, He is a good, good Father. Maybe you’ve had some tough breaks, and “love” is the last thing you think about as it relates to God, but it’s true: He loves you.
Maybe your dad was abusive, but your Heavenly Father will never be:
“Do you know of any parent who would give his hungry child, who asked for food, a plate of rocks instead? Or when asked for a piece of fish, what parent would offer his child a snake instead? If you, imperfect as you are, know how to lovingly take care of your children and give them what’s best, how much more ready is your heavenly Father to give wonderful gifts to those who ask him? (Matthew 7:9-11)”
I know you may have had some tough times, some of which nearly destroyed you, but blaming God when bad things happen will only leave you empty inside. The devil tries at every turn to destroy you. He will haunt your nights and shadow your days in fear and anger, if you give him the chance.
But your Heavenly Father loves you, and wants to hold you close:
“A shepherd in charge of 100 sheep notices that one of his sheep has gone astray. What do you think he should do? Should the shepherd leave the flock on the hills unguarded to search for the lost sheep? God’s shepherd goes to look for that one lost sheep, and when he finds her, he is happier about her return than he is about the 99 who stayed put. Your Father in heaven does not want a single one of the tripped, waylaid, stumbling little ones to be lost. (Matthew 18:12-14)”
You may approach Him, not in fear, but as a cherished and loved child:
“And so we should not be like cringing, fearful slaves, but we should behave like God’s very own children, adopted into the bosom of his family, and calling to him, ‘Father, Father.’ (Romans 8:15)”
See, you’ve been adopted by the very One who spoke the universe into existence!
I know many have daddy issues, but I pray someday you realize your Heavenly Father wants to fill that emptiness. He is a loving Father, and desires to hold you close. He’s real and alive, and reveres you.
That’s my son-in-law, Josh, holding his children, my grandkids. Having known him several years, I can tell you for certain there’s NOTHING he wouldn’t do for his kids. He loves them unconditionally, even when my grandson is acting like a maniac! Even when my granddaughter keeps him up at night because she’s fussy. Doesn’t matter; his love is unshakable. He still holds them close, and would defend them at all costs, even to the point of death, if that’s what it took. It’s the same with God. The devil will try and convince you your Heavenly Father is a tyrant, but that’s a lie.
For those who don’t believe in God’s existence, just do me a favor and keep your mind open to the possibility of their being a God, and His love. Meanwhile, I’ll be praying He reveal Himself to you as only He can.
Have a blessed day.