Yeah, I’ve Been Angry With God

C’mon, admit it: you’ve been angry with God.

I know I have.

I was mowing our yard one time, when the lawnmower started acting up. It sputtered a bit, then coughed out a smoke cloud and died. Just like that. At first I was angry, and went back into the house, trying to figure out what to do. I didn’t get paid for another week and couldn’t even afford to buy a cheap, used mower, let alone a new one.

Then it hit me.

“Wait!” I excitedly told my wife. “I’ve heard about missionaries laying their hands on old, broken-down vehicles and praying for them, and they started working again. That’s what I’ll do! God knows I gotta get this yard mowed.”

So I enthusiastically headed toward the side yard where the poor mower sat in wait for the junk pile. I eagerly laid my hands on the motor, yanking them back quickly after being reminded how hot a recently-used motor was.

“Dangit!”

Ok, new plan: I grabbed the handle and began praying fervently for the machine. I was already playing out the testimony in my head:

“My lawnmower was dead,” I would tell the entire church family, “but I laid hands on it, prayed, and BAM! It came roaring back to life!” After which the entire church would erupt in grand applause, congratulating me for my mountain-moving faith.

After praying for a minute, I smiled and grabbed the pull-handle to start it.

“OK, Lord, here we go,” I smiled, and yanked the cord.

And kept pulling, and yanking and screaming and spitting and pulling and yanking some more. Nothing.

“Dangit!” I yelled as I walked into the house. “God don’t care about that stupid mower. Thing’s older than me, I’ll bet. He don’t care how terrible my yard looks!”

And so forth and so on, bemoaning my tacky, half-mowed yard.

So I pulled the lawnmower back in our garage until I could figure out what to do next. But the funniest part happened a few days later. I went to the garage to grab a hammer, and, seeing the mower, grew angry all over again. Out of sheer frustration, I grabbed the pull-handle and jerked it as hard as possible.

And the mower came roaring back to life.

I shook my head and laughed, then finished mowing my yard, apologizing to the Lord the whole time. I guess that whole “man’s time is not God’s time” thing even applies to lawn maintenance.

Yeah, this story was meant to make you smile, but I seriously walked in livid anger toward God for many years as my chronic pain grew steadily worse. I was furious at my lack of healing, and didn’t even want others to pray for me.

I understand anger, you bet. King David understood it, as well.

“God, you were angry with us,” he wrote in Psalms 60. “You rejected us and destroyed our defenses.”

After this statement, though, David reminds himself of God’s power to protect and save in the next chapter:

“God, hear my cry; listen to my prayer. I call to you from the ends of the Earth when I am afraid. Carry me away to a high mountain. You have been my protection, like a strong tower against my enemies. Let me live in your Holy Tent forever. Let me find safety in the shelter of your wings. Selah. (Psalm 61:1-4).”

FYI: the Amplified Bible says “selah” means “pause and calmly think about that.”

If we can work through our anger at the Almighty, and try and trust Him, He will grant us the peace which passes all human understanding (Philippians 4:7).

“I find rest in God,” David continued in the 62nd chapter of Psalms, “only he can save me.  He is my rock and my salvation. He is my defender; I will not be defeated. I find rest in God; only he gives me hope.  He is my rock and my salvation. He is my defender; I will not be defeated. My honor and salvation come from God. He is my mighty rock and my protection. People, trust God all the time. Tell him all your problems, because God is our protection. Selah.  I heard God say two things: ‘I am powerful, and I am very kind.’ The Lord rewards each of us according to what we do (Psalms 62:1-2, 5-8, 11-12).”

Pause and calmly think about that:

I will not be defeated. Only God gives me hope. I will trust Him all the time. Tell God all your problems, because He is your protection. He is powerful and very kind.

The Lord hasn’t turned His back on you for being angry. Being mad at God is natural, and most—if not all—of Heaven’s earthly warriors have experienced it. Try and work through your anger, and begin to trust in the only One who can instill the peace you so desperately seek.