Lashing out at others becomes easier when we get too caught up in our drama and pain, doesn’t it? Tragically, those we love the most are normally the ones who suffer.
Sad but so true.
When we let agony sharpen our claws, we are sure to eventually scare away those closest to us. Even the toughest of the tough can only take so much, and one day realize life is too short to live with someone who brings them nothing but misery.
From my own experience, in dealing with chronic and debilitating pain in my back, hips and legs, and then struggling with depression on top of that (with a smattering of bitterness thrown in, simply because of the constant, throbbing, 24/7 pain), some days it’s really difficult to keep my emotions in check.
For those who don’t live in pain, imagine if you were put in prison. You see life happening all around you, and you can converse with those in the outside world, but many times your prison, your “issue,” prevents you from actually joining them. You can’t escape the steel prison bars; they mock you every day, and all night long. Whether 2:00 in the morning or 2:00 in the afternoon, you’re always imprisoned. You’re always limited.
You’re always frustrated, and it seems the world taunts you at every turn.
Then imagine someone asking, “Why are you in such a bad mood this morning?” after suffering another sleepless night of pure hell.
That’s how crazy it seems to me when others ask what’s wrong with me. Every fiber of my being wants to scream, “Are you freaking crazy?! Do you have even the slightest clue what I have to endure?”
But instead, I’ll reply, “Nothing, I’m sorry, just dealing with the pain and sleepless nights again. I’ll try to be cool, I really will.”
For those of us who suffer chronic issues (even depression and/or anxiety; I’m not just talking about physical pain, here), whether we have the right to be hateful to others is debatable by some. For me, however, I just try and remember the Golden Rule:
“Do for others what you want them to do for you (Matthew 7:12a).”
I like the “do for others” version better than the “do unto others,” because it speaks of action. “No, don’t get up, I can get my own coffee. Would you like some?” or “Anyone want anything while I’m in the kitchen?” or even (GASP), “Honey, would you like me to rub your shoulders? You look tense. It may take me a few minutes to get this broken-down body in a comfortable position, and I’ll need to use a few pillows, but it’s ok.”
Instead of flailing about in your misery, try doing something nice for someone else. I think you’ll find love and laughter can bloom in even the gloomiest of alleyways.
Remember: you and you alone set the tone for your entire household. If you are in a foul mood, a dark cloud will hang over those you love. If you try and smile, even a little, to lighten the ambiance of the room, you’ll be amazed at how much better you’ll feel; how much brighter the world will look.
So dare to be a goober today. Make a funny face at a baby. Cut loose and be silly.
It’s a little known secret: frivolity (aka “silliness” and “laughter”) is an FDA-approved antidote for heartsickness.
Many blessings on you.