Exactly 165 days have passed since the most severe and painful procedure I’ve ever endured.
If you’ve read the last two blogs, you’ll know I suffered a 10-level spinal fusion surgery on July 3, 2025. I went to sleep on the operating table before the surgery, thinking I was going in for another 4-level fusion, like I had in 2002. Back then, I felt really good within two months, so that’s what I was expecting this time. Well, being that I’m on the downhill slide to 60 (and definitely not in my 30s anymore), I figured I’d allow an extra month or so for my age.
Then I woke up and found out my entire spine had been fused. Crazy. I was also told my spine was straighter than it has been since I was a teenager, and both my scoliosis and spinal stenosis—the two most heinous culprits in my 40+ year struggle with chronic pain—were gone. You can read the previous two blogs for more about that.
But lately I’m going through stuff I’ve never experienced before, and it’s freaking me out a little. Despite some saying, “You might need a follow-up surgery” and others saying, “It’s usually not as great as the doctors claim, so don’t get your hopes up,” I truly believe I received the miracle I’ve been praying for since I was in my late teens. Maybe I’m being too optimistic, but I believe that. I have to believe that.
Sometimes, though, I experience a bit of what I can only assume is PTSD. I’ll have a dream I’m back in early July, just out of surgery, suffering so terribly. Back then the pain was so bad I didn’t even wanna move. I would tell my grandkids, “I’m frozen, I can’t move.” Or something will happen to trigger a memory, and my brain almost believes I’m back in the hospital, post-surgery, suffering so terribly. I shake it off, and it normally passes in a few minutes, but it’s still real.
Now, I’m FULLY aware that many of you suffer far worse than I do. Please don’t take this as me doing some kinda weird, “reverse bragging” about my pain and suffering. This isn’t me saying, “I’m so worse off than you! Pity me!” No, this is me saying, “Here are my experiences, and this is my attempt to encourage others, even when I’m going through my own version of ‘surgery recovery hell’.”
Another thing I’m going through is, considering how much I’ve talked about how I received my miracle, and had so many people tell me how great I’m doing after such a terrible procedure, part of my brain thinks I should be way farther into my recovery than I am. It’s almost like that part of my grey matter believes I’m “there,” that I’ve “arrived” and fully recovered. Then I’ll stand up and walk (crookedly), however, or try to roll over in bed without waking my wife Laura up—which is nearly impossible, by the way—and I realize I’m still suffering.
I may be walking one-to-two-miles a day, but it’s with much pain. I have to force myself to stand up straight, and it hurts. It hurts BAD, but I keep going. That’s one of my keys to a successful recovery:
When you’re in pain and suffering, keep walking. When nothing makes sense, keep moving forward.
These are mental battles, I know, and while they don’t engulf me, I feel my body is still at war with my mind. All that being said, there’s one thing I’m also beginning to believe, and I plan on writing more about this once I’ve lived it a bit more, and researched the subject:
I believe Christians put too much weight on our “issues”.
By saying this, I don’t mean I believe we complain too much. What I mean is that we seem to forget, in Jesus we can find true healing. If God hasn’t healed your body yet, He can still heal your mind and spirit. I used to tell people my depression was like seeing a black rain cloud in the distance. I knew it was coming but I couldn’t do anything about it. I’m starting to feel differently about this.
I think we give our “issues” too much credit, and don’t give Jesus ENOUGH credit.
For so long I’ve LET my depression happen, thinking, “I suffer depression,” and would slowly let it work itself out. I hear so many believers, like me, saying, “Here are my issues,” as if that is supposed to explain everything away; as if they’re inevitable and unbeatable. That’s a bunch of hogwash! We act like a jerk to someone, and then justify it by saying, “Oh, sorry, I have anger issues.” We don’t talk to someone when we run into them, then start to feel bad and send them a text that says, “My apologies, I struggle with depression and today’s not a good day.”
We need to try to take control of our emotions, instead of letting them control US.
I don’t think accepting our struggles is good enough anymore, man. I think we’re stronger than that. So I’ve decided to fight. I’ve decided to try and be a better person. I know I’m a “good man,” but I also know we can all improve, and this is one area where I can definitely step it up. So with this in mind…
Here are 10 Bible verses for those struggling with chronic physical, emotional and/or spiritual pain, all from the NLT translation:
1. Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”
Definitely my favorite Bible verse, as it doesn’t promise quick relief. It promises nearness when the spirit is fatigued by long-term pain.
2. Second Corinthians 12:9 “Each time He (God) said, ‘My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.’ So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.”
Paul wasn’t healed, he was “held”. He was sustained in his weakness. That matters deeply for chronic sufferers. I cried out to the Lord for decades, but received no physical healing. What I DID receive, however, were blessings and love, both physically and spiritually. I can’t count how many times I’ve went to Jesus in tearful prayers, and received peace in my spirit.
And peace, after all, is worth so much more than money. As Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash both sang about in “A Satisfied Mind,” it’s hard to find one rich man in ten with a satisfied mind.
3. Romans 8:18 “Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later (emphasis added).”
Not minimizing pain—reframing time. Present suffering is real; future restoration is greater, and ETERNAL.
4. Isaiah 53:3 “He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief.”
Jesus is not distant from pain. He lived inside it. I’ve always found comfort in the fact that the very Son of God is “acquainted with grief”.
5. Lamentations 3:31–33 “For no one is abandoned by the Lord forever. Though He brings grief, He also shows compassion because of the greatness of His unfailing love. For He does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.”
God is not cruel. Pain is not proof of abandonment; it’s putting a sword in the fire so it can be reshaped into a resilient weapon of spiritual warfare.
We suffer the parched desert so we can appreciate water. We suffer hunger so we can appreciate food. We suffer naked exposure so we can appreciate the Lord’s “covering”.
6. Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.”
This is my second favorite verse in the Bible. Healing here is often slow, careful, ongoing—like wrapping a wound, not erasing it. Our pain is REAL, but Jesus is there with us every step of the way.
7. John 16:33 “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in Me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
Jesus doesn’t deny suffering. He outlasts it. So many are searching for peace in every way EXCEPT Jesus, and all the while, the Lord is waiting for them to come to Him so He may offer rest for our body, mind and soul.
8. Hebrews 4:15–16 “This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses… So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God.”
It should give you peace and confidence to know the Creator of this world (and the next) “understands our weaknesses”! And then, concerning the second half of that verse, chronic pain often comes with shame, frustration, and exhaustion, but we need not be embarrassed. When we come before the throne, we must come BOLDLY, and truly believing the Lord will answer.
9. Psalm 73:26 “My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; He is mine forever.”
One of the most honest verses in Scripture about declining health. It says, “No matter what happens to this decaying body, my God is still on the throne. He still loves me, and is preparing an eternal home for me.” And speaking of that eternal home…
10. Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain.”
This is not denial—it’s promise. As the blog I wrote on January 21, 2021 says, “Suffering has an expiration date” (https://brokenpeople.blog/2021/01/21/all-trials-have-an-expiration-date/). Suffering is NOW, but “later” there will be full relief.
Chronic pain reshapes our faith, to be certain. It strips away shallow theology and forces truth to stand, exposed. These verses don’t say “try harder,” or “have more faith.” They say:
- God loves us
- God is near
- God understands
- God sustains
- God will finish what pain started but could not complete
So, like I always say, in quoting my late Uncle Aaron (RIP), “Never give up, never give in, never surrender!”
May God richly bless you.
Broken People 