Opposites Attract

Opposites attract. Examples of this from Google AI are the following:

1. Magnetic Attraction:

• Opposite poles attract: A north pole of a magnet will always be attracted to a south pole of another magnet.
• Like poles repel: Attempting to bring two north poles together, or two south poles together, will result in them pushing each other away. 

2. Electrical Charges:

• Unlike charges attract: Positive and negative charges attract each other, as seen in the attraction between electrons (negative) and protons (positive).
• Like charges repel: Positive charges repel other positive charges, and negative charges repel other negative charges. 

Laura and I have been together since October 1985, married on May 16, 1987. Are we opposite? Oh yeah, for sure. I remember we hadn’t been together very long when I bought a cassette tape called “Ride the Lightning,” a 1984 release from the heavy metal band Metallica. I brought the tape over to her parents’ house so I could read the liner notes while we were hangin’ out, when she said, “Why don’t you listen to your new tape?” I said, “No, you don’t like this type of music, it’s cool. I can listen to it when I get home.” She insisted, however, knowing how excited I was, and grabbed her tape player/radio combo, or what we called a “ghetto blaster” back then.

So I parked myself at their kitchen table and listened to Ride the Lightning in its entirety while she sat on their front porch reading a book, since she was more of a Journey and Bon Jovi girl (also bands I love, by the way). I checked on her a couple times, asking if she wanted to come back inside, telling her I could turn the music down or off, but she just smiled, said she was perfectly fine, and kept reading.

This amazing woman has always allowed me to be myself. I am not only a BIG TIME heavy metal aficionado, but I love horror movies. An example of how opposite we are would be that my favorite movie is either “The Shining” or “Silence of the Lambs” (or “The Blues Brothers,” or “Shutter Island,” or “The Godfather,” or “Tombstone,” depending on the day). Her favorite would probably be “Under the Tuscan Sun” or “Saving Mr. Banks.”

We’ve known we were opposites nearly our entire time together, but that’s rarely been a problem.

She’s an extrovert, seeking out the lights and the noise that accompanies lively people and big gatherings. I’m a total introvert, preferring to work in my office with the door closed, or better yet, at home. I could watch crime documentaries or shows like “The Haunting of Hill House” all day. My beautiful bride would be content on the couch watching cooking shows and “Virgin River”.

I went with her and my mom to see a Blake Shelton show once, which turned out to be her favorite concert she’s attended. On the flipside of that coin, I’ve attended dozens of metal concerts, my top show (so far) being Swedish extreme metal band Meshuggah.

And that tells you about all you need to know regarding our differences.

Rather than making these differences an issue, though, bemoaning why she’s not more metal or why I’m not more…well, normal, we’ve always celebrated them. My primary strength is my creative abilities, and hers is the uncanny ability to not only multitask, but literally have two dozen projects going on at once, and being a master at all of them. Well, that and encouraging people, but come to think of it, we’re both good at that. Where our differences come in handy is when I have a creative project to finish, and need to not only stay on track but figure out what to do when I finish it. Her analytical brain helps me come up with a plan to move me toward completion, and then an “after-plan.”

When it comes to my approach to life, I just wing it, figuring everything will be ok, somehow, whereas Laura likes to have a plan and a list. This comes in handy because she can think of 87 different things that I never could, so we’re more prepared for something. My dream has always been to be a full-time speaker, writer, creator, editor and professor (I do all those things now, just not “full-time”), giving my creative muse free reign to do what he will, while letting her take care of details surrounding all these efforts (for which she is perfectly suited).

With people who are nearly polar opposites like us, the key to survival is love and patience. She’s always had both in spades, and I’m getting there, slowly. I figure God put us together because we needed each other, so even though sometimes it takes a while to find a movie we both wanna watch, we really do rely on the other for our very survival.

It can work, we’ve proven it for decades.

Our 38th anniversary is in a couple weeks, and this blog is my feeble attempt to put into words the great love I have for this woman. It’s funny how I can’t seem to verbally express the depth of my love, even as a writer.

So here’s to you, my love. I’d like to wish you a happy anniversary, and here’s to 38 more! Not a day goes by that I not only marvel at your interior and exterior beauty, but literally thank God for you.

You’ve always been the lighthouse in my stormy life, keeping me from crashing into the rocks. You’re not only the warm blanket on a bitterly cold night…you’re the cool, spring breeze in the desert. You are everything to me, and I am the luckiest man on Earth.

You make life worth living. I love you.